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LARRY GATLIN: Don’t Cry for Me Arizona, I’m Bound for Barcelona

Is there no end to the poking of the presidential finger in the eye of the American people? Spain?…as in bull fights and paella and Hemingway? A country 7,000 miles away from Arizona, Louisiana, Alabama, Mississippi, Florida or Kansas (nothing’s the matter with Kansas by the way)…THAT Spain?

I have expressed my disdain for most of the president’s policies. I have not been shy about “giving him what for” here on these “pages,” as they say in The Wall Street Journal. I think he is totally inept and out of his depth. But inept and heartless are two different things.

I just find it hard to believe that a good, decent, smart, God-fearing Christian (ask Rev. Wright, he will vouch for him) like Pres. Obama, could be so cavalier, so out of touch, so…how can I say this… so afflicted with Cranial Rectamitis, that he would so blatantly shove his heartlessness right in the face of the good folks of Arizona, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida and yes, even Kansas, by sending the first lady and one of the first daughters to SPAIN to hang with, well, SPANISH NON-AMERICANS. I just do not believe it!!

I have a theory; yes, I know, that’s scary thought. I think that the president may be trying to send a subliminal message to the good folks of Arizona: “All of you good people of Arizona, listen up…Eschuchame por favor. ‘Michelle and I really do support you Arizonans in your fight to keep illegal Mexican-Americans out of your beloved Arizona.'”

The president and his advisers (I just laughed out loud…sorry) are going about this “adventure in subliminal domestic diplomacy,” by cleverly sending the first lady and one of her girls for a vacation in a place where the people speaking Spanish are actually citizens of the country,  i.e. Spaniards. It’s kinda like a code thing.

What do you think of my theory? (To show my egalitarian nature, I decided to meet La Raza halfway and instead of referring to illegal aliens, let me call them illegal Mexican-Americans. After all, their children are “Born in the USA” (thanks Bruce), full fledged, bona fide MEXICAN-AMERICANS.

As an interesting aside (at least I think its interesting), my dog Geithner and I had a talk the other day and he said, “Chief ( do not mean to insult my Native-American friends…that’s just what Geithner calls me…back to the story…) He said, ” Chief, when we go abroad to places like Canada to visit CANADIAN-CANADIANS and FRENCH-CANADIANS and even NATIVE AMERICAN-CANADIANS, or even SPAIN to visit SPANIARDS, and you fill out the customs and immigration forms for me… under the nationality section, I want to be referred to as a CANINE-AMERICAN.” He went on to explain that since he was “Born in the USA” after his father had tunneled under the fence near Nogales, Arizona, Because it was no longer a “dogs life” in Chihuahua, because there was no work for his father, because all of the good jobs, like sitting in the shade, sleeping, and chasing old ’62 Ford Pickups and ’57 Chevys (wish I had one) well, they were all gone, and the only jobs left, were jobs that other Chihuahuas wouldn’t do.

Back to subject at hand. Sometimes the commander in chief must also be the “comforter in chief”…to ordinary folks…folks like out of work fishermen, and oilfield workers. Sometimes the first lady has to be the housewife in chief to ordinary folks…folks like housewives who can’t pay the house note, and the mom in chief to moms with hungry kids.

Never, I repeat, never is the president supposed to be the golfer-in-chief when there is nearly 10% unemployment in America, when there is an uncontrolled gusher spewing oil into the Gulf of Mexico along the American Gulf Coast, and there are American soldiers being killed in Afghanistan to keep the Taliban  from getting their hands on Pakistan’s nukes.

Never, I repeat NEVER, is the first lady supposed to go to Spain or anywhere else, outside the United States, for any purpose, except for the death or illness of a family member or very close friend.

In other words, if there is a situation that precludes the prez from playing golf, Michelle, you and one of your girls can’t go to Spain!

That’s my take on it, and I think that most Americans, at least the ones who have not drunk the Kool-Aid, or in this case, the Sangria, feel the same way.

While these presidential eye pokings are obviously not illegal (like Mexicans climbing over a fence or wading a river to come illegally into the United States, or Charlie “the Slumlord” Rangel, or Tim “the tax cheat” Geithner — no relation to my dog Geithner — he paid his taxes — and their wanton disregard for the rule of law) and while these deeds do not rise to the standard (or sink to the standard) of being unethical ( like Chris “the friend of whoever at Countrywide” Dodd, or just Stupid, like Barney the “Fannie and Freddie are perfectly solvent” Frank) they just do not pass they sniff test.

I think it was Mark Twain who said,” England and America are two great countries, separated by a common language”. Sometimes American English just doesn’t quite “cut the mustard,”, so I will borrow from our English cousins, While it may not be illegal in the strictest sense of the word, it is “bloody bad form”!!

Well, as this Texan would say, and in fact is saying, Mr. President, Mrs. Obama, I’m embarrassed for you,  and may I add, really P-O-ed at you, too.

If my sweet old half Cherokee grandmother were here she would say, ” Larry my boy, it’s a cryin’ shame.”

Well, Granny, I wish you were here. I could use your wise counsel. One thing I know for sure. Once again you are right, Granny. It IS a cryin’ shame!!

I can hear our first lady singing right now, “Don’t cry for me, Arizona, I’m bound for Barcelona”!!

I repeat…embarrassing. And… a cryin’ shame. 

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